Originally Published December 2016, Reviewed and Updated April 2026
“I don’t know if he doesn’t understand me, or if he’s just not listening.”
If you’ve ever said this, you are not alone. It’s one of the most common frustrations we hear from parents. When a child doesn’t follow a direction, it’s hard to know the cause. Are they struggling to pay attention? Are they asserting their independence? Or are they having trouble understanding what you said?
As speech-language pathologists, our first step is always to determine if the child can understand the spoken direction. The great news is that you can practice this skill and find out what’s going on through playful, low-pressure activities.
Here are three fun ways to make following directions a game instead of a battle.
1. Embrace the Silly
Kids are wired for play, and nothing gets their attention like something unexpected and goofy. Giving silly directions during playtime can break through the noise and lead to genuine connection (and lots of laughter).
- Try this: While playing with blocks, say, “Can you put the blue block on your head?” or with Play-Doh, “Roll the dough into a ball and put it on your nose!”
- Why it works: A silly command doesn’t feel like a chore. It catches your child off guard and makes listening part of the fun, not a demand.
2. Use Their Favorite Things
Would you be more motivated by a boring chore or a fun activity? Kids are the same way. Instead of testing their skills by asking them to do something routine (“get your shoes”), incorporate directions into activities they already love.
- Try this: If they love art, say, “Get the green crayon and color the frog’s legs.” If they’re excited about a holiday, “Find the biggest present and bring it here!”
- Why it works: This taps into your child’s intrinsic motivation. When they want to do the activity, listening to the directions becomes a natural part of achieving their goal.
3. Be Their Play Partner
Joining your child in their play is one of the most powerful things you can do. It allows you to connect with them while also modeling how to follow directions yourself.
- Try this: While building a tower, say, “I’m putting the red block on top. Can you find a yellow block and put it on the tower next?” While coloring, “I’m going to color the princess’s hair purple. That’s silly! Now, can you make her crown red?”
- Why it works: When you play together, you’re a teammate, not a taskmaster. Modeling the action (“I’m putting the red block…”) shows them what to do and makes it easier for them to copy the action when it’s their turn.
When to Seek Help
These games are a wonderful way to practice and build skills. However, if you consistently find that your child struggles to understand even simple, one-step directions in a playful context, it might be a sign of a challenge with receptive language (how the brain processes spoken language).
If you have concerns, a speech-language evaluation can give you clarity. Early intervention is key to helping your child build the skills they need for success. Our speech-language pathologists are here to help. Please contact us to learn more.
About the Author
Sonia Strueby, M.A., CCC-SLP, is the founder of Enrichment Therapy & Learning Center. With over 25 years of experience as a speech-language pathologist, Sonia has dedicated her career to helping children overcome complex communication and academic challenges. She has advanced training and a special focus on treating dyslexia and childhood apraxia of speech, and she is passionate about providing families with a clear path to success
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