Executive functioning might sound technical, but it’s not as scary as you might think. Your executive function is essentially the boss in your brain that tells you what to do, how to do it, how long to do it, and when to start and stop. These skills include starting and keeping attention, following directions, remembering information, organizing thoughts, and showing self-control. The boss in my brain sometimes drives me a little crazy, like when I’ve just settled into bed and suddenly remember a really important thing I have to do. Still, these skills keep you on track for every task in your life.
As adults, our executive functioning skills are more experienced than a child’s. A child’s boss is still learning the ropes and making plenty of mistakes along the way, which is a normal part of learning. Some children have more difficulty with executive functioning than others, and conditions like ADHD and autism can affect how a child develops and uses these skills.
How Does Executive Functioning Develop?
Like other skills, executive functions are learned through experience and practice. The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University explains that these skills build over time and don’t simply appear on their own as children get older. Because they are used every day to complete tasks, they matter for being a good student, friend, and member of the community.
What Does Difficulty With Executive Functioning Look Like?
A child who struggles with executive functioning might seem forgetful, find it hard to hold back impulses, have trouble organizing their thoughts, or find it hard to shift attention and regulate emotions. That boss in their head has a lot to learn and keep track of, so these difficulties can easily lead to frustration at home and at school. Signs your child may need extra help include:
- Homework: Trouble turning in homework on time, even when it’s already done.
- Writing: Disorganized writing, with events or words out of order.
- Memory: Difficulty holding on to or recalling information.
- Problem solving: Trouble with word problems and multi-step problems.
Practical Ways to Build Executive Functioning Skills
If you’re concerned about your child’s executive functioning, you can always contact their school, health care provider, or a local learning center for further evaluation. In the meantime, here are a few ideas you can try at home.
1. Give a Reason
When you work on a new skill, or one your child doesn’t like, explain why the skill is important. They might not fully understand right away. Even so, when children begin to understand why they are working on something, they may feel more empowered to give their best effort.
2. Create a Routine
A routine gives children consistency. Even babies can start using their working memory to anticipate the steps in a routine, like bath, story, and then bedtime. Older children can use and refine their working memory to plan and carry out their routine with more independence. A great way to start is by describing the steps out loud, such as “It’s time to get ready for bed. First, we take a bath. Then, we read a book. Last, we go to bed.” This helps your child understand the order of events and also builds vocabulary. For older children, you might begin with a visual schedule or guided reminders, and then help them work toward finishing tasks without your guidance. Start small so your child can learn while experiencing success, which is sometimes called errorless learning.
3. Outline the Steps and Make a Checklist
If a child has a task to complete, like cleaning a room, doing homework, or putting away dishes, it can be hard to picture the steps inside the task. When that happens, the task can feel daunting and take a very long time. Break the big task into smaller pieces, work through the steps together, and write them down. Then let your child cross off each step as they finish it, so they can see their progress, even with only two or three steps. With older kids, it can also help to outline how long each step might take, and adding a preferred activity at the end of the list can boost motivation. If your child can’t finish a step, give them a chance to ask for help while still noticing the steps they completed on their own. Over time, this builds their ability to speak up for themselves when you’re not there to help.
4. Visualize
Before starting a task, encourage your child to picture themselves doing it. This helps them remember the steps on their own, and it can also support language comprehension. For example, if your child is unloading the dishwasher, you can visualize putting away the plates first, then the cups, then the bowls, then the silverware. As you talk it through, point to the cabinets and drawers where each item goes. Then your child can challenge themselves to do it in the order they pictured.
5. Play Games
With babies, games like peek-a-boo or tickling can build selective attention. Reading books together helps with both selective and divided attention, since your child learns to focus on you and on the words or pictures in the book. Later, board and card games are a great way to practice following rules and controlling impulses, and they can lay the groundwork for turn-taking and patience. For more ideas, see our post on games for executive functioning and our post on recipes for executive functioning.
Frequently Asked Questions
At what age do executive functioning skills develop?
These skills begin developing in early childhood and keep growing through the teen years and into adulthood. Every child develops at their own pace, so it helps to look at whether your child’s skills are getting in the way of school or daily routines.
Do these strategies work if my child doesn’t have executive functioning difficulties?
Yes. As a parent, you know which activities cause frustration for your child, whether or not executive functioning is the reason. These strategies can help children with and without executive functioning difficulties.
How can I tell if my child needs more support?
Look for patterns that happen often and get in the way, such as trouble finishing homework, losing things, or difficulty with routines. If you notice these patterns, an evaluation can help you understand what’s behind them.
How ETLC Can Help
When executive functioning is hard, daily routines and homework can feel like a battle, and you don’t have to sort it out alone. If you suspect your child has difficulty with executive functioning, our team is here to help. Enrichment Therapy & Learning Center has locations in Johnston and North Liberty, IA, with virtual services also available.
Learn more about executive functioning support at ETLC or schedule a free consultation to talk with a member of our team.
You may also find these pages helpful:
- Executive Functioning Difficulties: What to Know
- Games for Executive Functioning: Fun Ideas by Age
- Executive Functioning Tool: The Magic To-Do List
About the Author
Sonia Strueby, M.A., CCC-SLP, is the founder of Enrichment Therapy & Learning Center. With over 25 years of experience as a speech-language pathologist, Sonia has dedicated her career to helping children overcome complex communication and academic challenges. She has advanced training and a special focus on treating dyslexia and childhood apraxia of speech, and she is passionate about providing families with a clear path to success.
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