Does your child say things out loud that they shouldn’t? Do you feel like he or she just doesn’t understand some things should ONLY be thought? Your child may need to learn what things you just DON’T say.
Discovering social rules can be tough, especially when so many of these rules are hidden or unspoken! It might be embarrassing when your young child announces to the Christmas dinner table that they have to go number 2. Or when your school-aged child tells Aunt Sally that her haircut makes her look like Patrick from Sponge Bob Square Pants. Though this example may seem funny now, I can promise you the way Aunt Sally and the child’s parents feel is certainly not funny!
I am going to focus on the things that older kids say aloud that they probably shouldn’t. At Enrichment Therapy and Learning Center (ETLC) we utilize materials from the Social Thinking Curriculum, specifically teaching through thought and speech bubbles created by Michelle Garcia Winner. The ultimate goal is that your child begins to understand their words can affect other people and they begin to regulate what they say aloud.
First, get out a paper plate and a small bottle of toothpaste. Let your child squeeze out the entire tube of toothpaste onto the plate. Next, tell your child that the toothpaste is their words, and they need to try and get their words back into the tube. They will be unable to get the toothpaste back into the tube. Similarly, once their words come out of their mouth they cannot take them back. It’s important to spend some time explaining to your child that they have “thoughts” that stay in their head as well as “words” that other people can hear. I recommend downloading and using the talk-think-bubbles-new created by Jill Kumza, MA, CCC-SLP, to explain the idea of a thought bubble and a talking bubble. Below is an example of a poster you could make in your home:
Next, talk about using a filter. Everything you want to say goes through this filter and sorts into either “think it” or “say it.” The filter will help sort out things that might hurt other people’s feelings. For example, even if you HATE Aunt Sally’s new haircut, that would probably make Aunt Sally feel really sad if you said it, so that is something you would just think. I recommend downloading the brain-social-filter also created by Jill Kumza, MA, CCC-SLP. Finally, practice by reading a variety of things you might think or say to your child and have them sort which things they should think and which things would be okay to say. You could also set up containers with labels that say “think it” and “say it” – you could then have your child sort the scenarios into each container.
Use examples that are relatable to your child so that they can refer back to what things they need to keep as a thought and which things they can share. The key is to have a discussion with your child as they sort through these potential scenarios and discuss why saying something about Aunt Sally’s haircut really hurt her feelings.
Enrichment Therapy & Learning Center has locations in the Iowa City, IA area and Des Moines, IA area. We provide individual speech-language therapy and tutoring as well as offering small group academic programs. At Enrichment Therapy & Learning Center our passion is to help kids achieve effective communication skills and gain academic success. Contact us for more information on how we can help your child succeed.
info@enrichmenttherapies.com
740 Community Drive, Unit A
North Liberty, IA 52317
319-626-2553
infodm@enrichmenttherapies.com
5530 West Pkwy, Suite 300
Johnston, IA 50131
515-419-4270
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