Help Your Child Regulate Their Emotions: A Guide

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.” Putting this motto into daily practice is a lot easier said than done, and it can be especially difficult for children who struggle with social and emotional learning. Helping your child regulate their emotions starts with understanding what’s happening beneath the surface.

Social and emotional learning involves a child’s ability to self-monitor and self-regulate their emotions, which shapes both their intrapersonal skills (within themselves) and interpersonal skills (between the child and others). Many children pick up these skills naturally, while others need more direct instruction and examples. Either way, there are tools you can use to help your child grow in this area.

Zones of Regulation

One helpful tool that works with any child is the Zones of Regulation. This framework helps children identify exactly what they’re feeling at any given moment. That first piece of self-awareness allows a child to use words, rather than potentially negative actions, to label their emotions. There are four different “zones” a child can use to identify their feelings:

• Blue Zone = energy level is low: sad, bored, tired, sick
• Green Zone = energy level is just right: happy, focused, calm, proud
• Yellow Zone = energy level is heightened: worried, frustrated, silly, excited
• Red Zone = energy level is out of control: angry, terrified, panicked, overjoyed

None of the zones are considered “bad,” since we’re all human and allowed to experience the full range of emotions, we can’t always be at complete peace. That said, the green zone is typically the ideal state for a child to be in. Feeling calm and focused promotes success both in a child’s learning environment and at home.

Helpful Strategies

Once a child figures out how they’re feeling, what comes next? From there, you can help teach your child strategies that guide them back toward the green zone. A few examples that may be beneficial:

• Take deep breaths
• Listen to music
• Count to ten
• Go for a walk
• Squeeze a ball

How to Implement the Zones of Regulation

The best way to bring the Zones of Regulation into your child’s daily routine is to talk about each family member’s feelings at different points throughout the day. For example, on the way to school, you might say, “I’m feeling like I’m in the blue zone right now because I’m really tired. Maybe we should listen to a fun song to help me get to the green zone!”

Next, ask your child what zone they’re in, and use any strategies that might help them move toward the green zone if they’re not there already. You can use this same approach if you notice your child becoming upset and shifting into the yellow or red zone. You might say, “I can see that you’re feeling upset because you’re yelling and stomping your feet. It looks like you’re in the red zone right now. Let’s use our strategy of taking deep breaths to help you get to the green zone.”

We’re Here to Help

By using the Zones of Regulation for self-awareness and self-regulation, you can help your child regulate their emotions and grow their social and emotional skills. If you have questions or concerns, contact us today.

The Zones of Regulation™ Curriculum by Leah Kuypers, 2011, ©Think Social Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved.