Written by: Sonia Strueby, M.A., CCC-SLP, Founder of Enrichment Therapy & Learning Center
Originally Published: October 15, 2019 | Updated: August 31, 2026
The last few months of the year bring a packed calendar of family get-togethers and outings. These events are meant to be fun for everyone. But they can be genuinely stressful for kids with social struggles during the holidays. A little preparation goes a long way toward making the season easier for your whole family. Here are some tips to help your holiday gatherings feel more manageable and fun for everyone.
Why Are Holiday Gatherings Extra Hard for Some Kids?
Holiday events pack a lot into a short window. Unfamiliar routines, a house full of relatives, small talk expectations, new foods, and often several of these events back to back all add up fast. For a child who finds social situations challenging, that combination can be genuinely overwhelming, even when the day is meant to be joyful.
Practice Conversations Ahead of Time
Help your child successfully navigate conversations by practicing at home first. Family members will likely ask how school is going, which can be a tough topic if your child struggles in the classroom. Give them a few ready-made responses to lean on, like, “I really like art class. We’re making nature paintings.”
It also helps to practice conversations with other kids at the gathering. Come up with a few general conversation starters together. Try something like, “Are you playing any sports?” or “Do you like video games?” When your child feels prepared for likely conversations, their confidence grows. They’ll also feel more comfortable talking with relatives.
Let Your Child Know What to Expect
Give your child a rundown of what the day will look like. Cover what happens when you arrive, who will be there, where they can play, and how long you’ll be staying. If you know what food will be served, share that ahead of time too. If gifts will be exchanged, let your child know in advance and gently remind them of appropriate ways to thank people for what they receive.
Give Options
Kids tend to handle situations more smoothly when they have some choice. When it comes to food, offer options instead of open-ended questions: “Do you want to try a bite of the turkey or the green beans?” The same goes for activities during the gathering: “Do you want to play with the other kids, or sit with me while I talk with Grandma?” Choices give your child a sense of control in an otherwise unpredictable day.
Build in Downtime and Keep Some Routine
According to the Child Mind Institute, kids still need their usual anchors during the holidays. Snack time, some quiet time, and a chance to unwind before bed all matter, even when the schedule is unusual. Where possible, avoid stacking multiple demanding events into one day. Build in a little downtime between activities instead. Protecting these small routines can make a big difference in how your child handles an otherwise packed season.
After the Gathering: Celebrate the Wins
Praise your child for what they did well after each family gathering. These situations aren’t easy for kids. So even if the day didn’t go exactly as hoped, point out one or two specific things your child did well. This helps build their confidence heading into the next event.
When Should I Seek Help?
Consider a social skills or social communication evaluation if your child’s social struggles feel bigger than a single holiday season. Look for signs that show up consistently across school, friendships, and everyday routines, and talk with a speech-language pathologist about next steps. Support outside of the holidays can make gatherings, and everyday life, easier too.
If you have questions about your child’s social skills, contact our team at ETLC, we’re happy to help.
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